Tuesday, December 27, 2011

My Letter of New Years Resolutions!

Dear Whoever is in charge of making New Years resolutions happen, (I'm guessing God)

So I know this looks really bad right now but I promise you I have only had 1 drink so far..well okaaaaay maybe one REALLY big gulp of what most would call alcohol but I prefer the term *my medicine* or *that good stuff*. I know it seems as if I am passed out on the concrete floor right outside my campus building but what you do not get is that in actuality I'm holding onto the floor so as not to fall off the Earth.

In anycase while lying here I started asking myself many life changing questions like:

Where am I?
Where is my wallet?
Why do I have a hobo lying next to me?
Why can't I get that Black Eyed Peas Boom Boom Pow song out of my head?
and lastly
What are my new years resolutions for 2012?

And thus after finding a pen and piece of paper in the tuxedo jacket that I am wearing and think I  stole, I begin to reflect on my life and in this time of reflection I jotted down some of my New Years resolutions.

My New Years Resolutions of 2012:
  • I will try to be a better serial killer
  • No more kidnapping people putting them in the trunk of my car and forgetting to close it
  • I will sign up to the gym so I can get fit and actually be able to catch up to the people I try to  chase and kill
  • Get a new asthma pump..So what? I'm a serial killer with asthma at least i still look good dammit not like that burnt up piece of bread Freddy Kruger..Damn I HATE him!!!
  • Get a kickass cool serial killer name like Freddy Kruger
  • Remember to cut off the alarm system first before secretly breaking into the house of a target
  • Try to remember to put my mask on next time I'm on a killing spree
  • I promise my lawyer to not show up drunk to another court hearing again
  • I will buy a broken down abandoned raggedy house in the woods cause all the big horror movie serial killers roll like that.
  • I will make a shank, because I can't afford to buy an actual weapon
  • Or better steal Freddy Kruger's blade gloves and blame it on Jason
  • No more thinking my victims are trained dogs and expecting them to stay in the house when i leave them there without tying them down.
  • Be more enthusiastic when the jury says "We the jury find the defendant NOT GUILTY of all charges"

  • When I am hiding in the closet of my next victim try not to fall asleep again, what an awkward exit after being woken up by your victim and a police officer.
  • Come up with a really cool "SURPRISE!!" dance for when my victim catches me in their back yard.
"Helllooooo there, are you ready to die!"
  • And last but not least be more Gangsta in 2012

So there you go those are my resolutions and I hope to follow through with them diligently.What New years resolutions do you have for 2012? and in case I don't do another blog post before New Years I want to wish you guys an awesome and prosperous New Year!!

Uhmmm okay I'm going to end this off now because as we speak my Dean and campus security are hovered over me wondering why I'm still lying on the ground....


Love, Peace and Bloody-Coated hugs

Celebrate this New Years with a little bit of blood!!

For those of you who are as twisted if not more than me who wouldn't feel right ringing in 2012 without a bit of blood and gore below are two of the best New Years related horror movies. I will not give an in depth review on them but instead will just give a brief overview on what the movies are about, then after New Years when we have all hopefully watched one if not all, I will do an in depth review on both films and would really like some feedback from you guys on how you liked or liked it (and no that wasn't a typing mistake) hahaha ;) just being silly but yeah here you go and hope you enjoy!!

New Years Evil 1986:

As the film begins New Year's Eve is on its way and television's most famous punk rock lady icon, Diane Sullivan also known as Blaze by her, is holding a late night countdown celebration of music and partying. All is going great until Diane receives a phone call from a strange sounding stranger claiming his name is Evil and who announces on live television that when the clock strikes twelve in each time zone, a 'Naughty Girl' will be punished with death, then the killer signs off with a threat claiming that Diane will be the last one to die.
The studio crew takes safety measures and heightens security, but in the local insane asylum a nurse is found viciously slaughtered at the stroke of midnight EST. The killer records his victims as he murders them and calls back the station each time playing the tapes back to prove he is not playing around. There are many suspects and theories as to who the mysterious killer/caller is; is it a crazed fan? or a religiously psychotic person, or maybe and usually more likely someone closer to Diane than anyone could have ever expected.

Terror Train 1980:

At a college pre-med student fraternity New Year's Eve party, a reluctant Alana Maxwell is convinced into participating in a prank: she lures the shy and awkward pledge Kenny Hampson into a dark room with the promise of a sex. However some other students have placed a woman's corpse in the bed. Kenny is traumatised by the prank and is sent to a psychiatric hospital for help.
Years later as the train with the very same people who caused the prank begins its journey, each student is murdered off one by one, with the killer assuming the mask and costume of each murder victim in turn.So who is this mystery killer? watch the movie and find out!

Hope you enjoy the movies and I hope you have an awesome New Years day!!

Peace, Love and Bloody-coated hugs