Monday, November 29, 2010


Aaaah Homecoming..the football players,the dance, girlfriends and ex-girlfriends, the jealousy, kidnapping, the gruesome torture and murders...uhmmm doesnt this all sound a little too predictable? well it is! This movie was sooo bad that throughout it I constantly questioned my sanity..

You know Im even pissed writting this review because it was such an epic failure and a waste of good film, so i wont even spend too much time on this one.
In anycase Mischa Barton also stars as one of the main characters in this movie and its really sad to see how she goes from playing an alright character in Walled In  to completely sucking monkey balls in this one. Whats even more mind boggling is that Morgan Freeman produced this!?! Anywho back to the movie, its about a former high school quarterback star Mike Donaldson (Matt Long) who returns to his hometown for the Homecoming retirement of his jersey. To the surprise of his possessive and jealous ex-girlfriend Shelby (Mischa Barton) he brings along his new grilfriend Elizabeth (Jessica Stroup).

After a series of bad events Elizabeth finds herself in the middle of the road looking for a motel to stay in, she "accidentally" gets run over by Shelby. Shelby then takes the unconscious Elizabeth to her almost deserted house, where she hooks her up to an IV shoves her system with a lot of painkillers and uses this situation to her advantage as she tries to win Mike back while Elizabeths fights for her life and tries to escape.

Now if you are as much of a horror movie lover as I am while reading this a light bulb should switch on and a particular movie should come into mind..i.e Misery...Homecoming is basically the modern retarded version of Misery .This movie lacks creativity, the acting just plain sucked and  i think i may have lost a couple of braincells watching this, so for my sanity i'll just end this review here and look for another hopefully better horror movie to watch....

Rating: 3/10 (and this is me being nice my actual initial rating was -2/10)

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Walled In

The movie of choice tonight is Walled In, directed by Gilles Paquet-Brenner and has Mischa Barton playing the main character (Sam Walczak). When I watched the trailer for this movie, I was super exicted about it and thought it would be a great horror movie but I'm sad to say it just didnt deliver its full potential.

The movie is about a young women (Sam Walczak) who has just recently graduated from engineering school and whos father gives her as a gift, her first solo demolition project of a mysterious building. Sam travels out to this building that was built by a wacky architect named Joseph Malestrazza to try and figure out the best way to bring down this awkward building. Sam soon finds out that the building as well as its' architect are quite out off the ordinary.Malestrazza believed that a building could be immortal if its walls were intombed with live people...sounds crazy huh?

The building itself is amazing and i feel the director could have done soooo much more with such a set,the movie is not completely bad but i just feel the house was such a wonderful maze the director could have played on so many emotions like fear,claustrophobia, darkness,confusion etc... another thing that i did not completely understand and was a lil mad about is why the writer had to steal the infamous Freddy Krueger (1,2 Freddy's coming for you) lullaby and try to modify it for the movie?! it didn't even make any sense or flow as good as the Freddy Krueger version so that part could've definitely used a lot more creativity.

All in all the movie was not that bad and definitely had its scary parts like this scene :but sadly like most horror movies the ending didnt do much for me and had me a little lost but maybe that's just me! so watch it and see what you think of it....

Rating: 6/10

Case 39

Hello Horror lovers, today i will be reviewing a movie directed by Christian Alvart called Case 39. The movie is about a social worker played by Renee Zellweger who decides to to take in an abused little girl called Lily(Jodelle Ferland) after she catches Lily's parent trying to kill her by shoving  her in an oven. So after taking in the little girl a couple of days later things start to get a little awry, which i think was to be expected. In anycase as the movie goes on people all of a sudden start to die including Zellwegers love interest played by Bradly Cooper who predictably dies after little Lily threatens him..

So as more and more bodies start to pile up and Zellweger realises the girl she took in is a demon, she decides to take matters into her own hands and kill the lil devil. Honestly this movie kind off sucked, i found myself losing concentration and found it pretty predictable. I also couldnt help but compare it to the movie Orphan, which i think delivered a lil more pazazz than this one. There where some disturbingly good scenes like the ways in which  Bradly Coopers character and Lily's parents die. I think this movie is almost totally saved by Jodelle Ferland's excellent acting skills and the way she embodied her character definately did give me some chills.

Its a good light-hearted movie and reminds us to always do extensive back-up research before you do anything drastic like adopting a child (insert Orphan) and hey if any of you find that you may have mistakenly adopted a demon child, remember that Fed-Ex is there for a reason...RE: RETURN TO SENDER!!!

Rating: 6/10

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Dracula 2000

Today was one of those days that I had absolutely nothing to do ,was in the mood to watch a good SCARY horror movie but nothing i picked seemed to be scary enough or  interesting enough, so after countless searches i came across the 2000 remake of Dracula. Now this was the second time i watched it and the only reason why i did was because when it first came out, i was pretty darn young soo anything was scary at the time.

Now being a little older i realise that this probably was one of the worst Dracula remakes of all times. I mean this movie does have some great ideas but completely lacks in the horror department,so if your looking for a movie that will leave you with nightmares  i suggest you skip this one. Though to not completely bash this movie you do have Gerard Butler portraying Dracula who completely delivers on the sexiness! I mean he had me in a sweat throughout this whole movie, had me saying halleluyerrr and everything lol.

Anyways back to the movie, the opening scene is set in the late 1800's and then quickly flashes forward to modern day England were we have the old Professor Van Helsing looking over old antiques in his office. At the same time there is a group of theives ( headed by Omar Epps and Jennifer Esposito's characters) who have broken into the professors dark ancient vault looking for valuable possessions but what it actually contains is the tightly locked coffin of Dracula...PAUSE FOR A DAMN CAUSE!...people if you go and rob somebody and the vault leads to a DEEP,,DARK cave with SKULLS and CRUCIFIXES everywhere, what the hell possesses you to think that someone is hiding gold or money!!! and these fools had the nerve to steal the coffin claiming there must be something valuable in the there, well didn't they find out!

In anycase the predictable happens Dracula gets released, the idiots who stole him get attacked and turned. The story then shifts to New Orleans where Dracula searches for Van Helsings' daughter Mary who he is drawn to and the vampire hunt begins. The part that i did love and found interesting was how they took a new approach to explaining the origins of Dracula and his weaknesses using the bible.
To end this off this movie isn't a great horror movie, in fact there isn't much horror at all but it certainly makes you think and has its humorous bits..and hey you get to see a little flesh from Gerard Butler which a def A+ for me.So if your looking for light vampire movie then go on ahead and rent this but if you want the "Real Deal" stick to the 1931 version...

Rating: 4/10