Red Riding Hood (2011)

Once upon a time there was a dear little girl who was loved by everyone who looked at her, but most of all by her grandmother, and there was nothing that she would not have given to the child. Once she gave her a little riding hood of red velvet, which suited her so well that she would never wear anything else; so she was always called 'Little Red Riding Hood.'


One day 'Little Red Riding Hood' wanted to marry the bad boy wood chopper of the village (Peter) but her parents disapproved and wanted her to marry Henry who was of a higher social status and thus a love triangle was born. The village in which they dwelled in was being terrorized by a werewolf that only came out on a full moon and one night Red Riding Hoods sister was found dead and mutalized by the very same wolf. The villagers in fear of when the werewolf would attack next, called for Father Solomon who came with his group of trained warriors to get rid of the creature once and for all.


Now I know you must be thinking......

WAIT!HOLD UP A MINUTE!

I DON'T REMEMBER MY MOM TELLING ME THIS VERSION OF THE STORY!!

Well because this story isn't the popular fable most of our parents used to read to us before bed-time, its actually the new 2011 movie 'Red Riding Hood' directed by Catherine Hardwicke. I don't know if its having seen on the DVD cover before hand that it was from the same director that produced Twilight but it felt like i was watching Twilight but with just werewolves and set in god-knows-where. I mean the characters Henry and Peter had similar characteristics and reminded me of Edward and Jacob while Amanda Seyfried(who played Red Riding hood or rather Valerie) reminded me of Bella Swan and the plot was somewhat the same.

I didn't like this movie and would not place this movie under the Horror genre as that would be a complete insult to the genre and those that love it. The plot really didn't make that much sense and I hated the fact that it seemed I was re-watching Twilight again, I guess the director knew what a hit Twilight was and just decided to stick to that theme. Although the movie is  technically supposed to be based on the actual bed-time story not much of the original story is kept in this movie, which was kind of a bummer. I feel they could have done so much more to make this movie a little more scary starting with the actual wolf which to me could have looked way more scarier and surreal (the wolf definitely reminded me of the wolf blunder in the 2010 movie Wolfman, but that's a blog post for another day).

In any case I think this movie is definitely geared towards die-hard Twilight teens but if your looking for a good thought provoking horror or thriller I suggest you happily skip this one without looking back because when the credits eventually roll up you'll regret having wasted 1hr 40mins of your life......

Rating: 3/10

Love,Peace and Sugar-coated hugs

Pixie

I refuse to be your Superhero!!

• I can't fly
• I do not have bat wings
• I can't leap like a cat, have nine lives nor do I own a cat suite
• I can't shoot spiderwebs out from my knuckles
• I don't have a sidekick, a get away car or any form of transportation besides my legs
• And I sure as hell aint bulletproof

So what makes you think I can all of a sudden save you when you get yourself captured and locked up by a serial killer. I was re-watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning last night and what i didn't understand was the part after the car crash when Chrissie gets thrown from the car and lands in the bushes out of sight from everyone else, Sheriff Hoyt arrives to the scene shoots Alex forces the rest of the guys in the police car and drives away. Later on Uncle Monty comes to tow away the car that is wrecked with Chrissie hidden in it and is thus driven all the way to the Hewitt/Butcher house. What I didn't understand was the fact that Chrissie decided to be the little superhero and try and save her friends who are locked up in a house with crazy cannibals?!!REALLY PEOPLE??REALLY??

If I was Chrissie and happened to be the only one free I would runaway and try to get help for my friends but from a DISTANCE, cause you saw how big and monstrous Thomas looked.......

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

 How is a short girl like me gonna defeat a HUGE beast who likes wearing human skin as a face mask!!! Call me a selfish hag, i don't care at least I will be the selfish hag still inhaling that good old  O₂ in the air.

The only superpower I do have though is the ability to pick up a telephone and dial '911' that is the best I can do for you but if you want me to promise you that if your captured I will make a U-turn to come save you? I'm sorry but that will have to take MUCH convincing and thought. I can whole heartedly promise you this though, that if I escape and help doesn't come in time to save you, when the time comes I will give you the best damn Eulogy known to man! (Because I care that much).

So this is dedicated to all my friends, followers on this blog and any potential strangers I might meet in a Horror movie like situation, unless we share the same genetic make up do not and i repeat DO NOT expect me to be your superhero, make a U-turn and come save you because 'I'm as cold as ice, i'm willing to sacrifice your life' (sing it with me now) 'Your as cold as ice, your willing to sacrifice my life'......

Love,Peace and Sugar-coated hugs

Pixie

Homage to a Horror Legend

One hundred years ago on this very day (May 27) in St.Louis Missouri a horror legend was born. Nicknamed the Merchant of Menace this man was greatly responsible for most of my nightmares as a child and was also the one who introduced me to the horror genre and got me so addicted to it.

The legend I speak of is none other than: 

Vincent Price made his first movie debut in 1938 he played in many minor movie roles but his first success was in the movie The Fall of the House of Usher (1960) which i think was such a great gothic,eerie and well directed movie. He played in many more movies but i think my top two would be:

1. House on the Haunted Hill(1959)

2.House of Wax(1953)

I absolutely loved both movies but i have to say the house of wax remake with Paris Hilton was a big BLUNDER even though i did secretly enjoy watching Paris get killed and admit rewinding that scene a couple of times, like i always say just stick to the classics i mean there that for a reason!

In any-case Price was well known for his distinct, eerie and low-pitched voice. Which is why he was picked to be the voice in Michael Jackson's worldwide known song "Thriller", the song already was pretty scary in itself but I think Vincent Price's voice  and laugh at the end of the song put it over the edge.

Although I only picked two of his movies as my all time favorites I believe ALL of his movies are wonderful cinematic creations and if you haven't watched a Vincent Price movie yet then i suggest you come out from under that rock and do so because these movies are the ones that have propelled the Horror genre to what it is today.

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY VINCENT PRICE and May your Soul Rest in Eternal Peace!

Here is a goodie list of some Vincent Price movies to check out:

1. The House of a 1000 dolls
2. The Last Man on Earth (1964)
3. The Abominal Dr.Phibes (1971)
4. Blood bath at the House of Death (1983)
5. Return of the fly (1959)
6. The Haunted Palace (1963)
7. Spirits of the dead (1968)
8. Scream and Scream again (1969)
9. Edward Scissorhands (1993)
10. The Story of mankind (1957)

There are of course far to many to mention all at once but if you find the time please do check at least one movie out. Also if you have any, what are your favorite memories of Vincent Price and which Vincent Price movie do you love the most?

Love,Peace and Sugar-coated hugs

Pixie

Oh Hell No! I know you didn't just.......

• Run away into the bathroom from your now zombified husband/ wife and then press your head against the bathroom door calling out their name and not expect for them to bash their head in trying to get through to EAT you!

• Escape from the house were the same mentioned husband/wife is, get to the car and instead of getting in and driving away like a Formula One racer, you instead stand around stupidly watching other zombies gleefully run by and only when the said zombies actually start attacking you do you get into the car.

• Leave a big group of people who have guns, try to be the hero by scoping the mall you are all hiding in (which mind you has soooo many dark eerie corners) and your only weapon in hand is a damn CROWBAR!!! against ZOMBIES???!!!!

• On your quest scoping the mall you see a puddle of blood on the floor a couple of meters away from a door and instead of running the opposite direction or at least calling a person who has a gun you walk TOWARDS the door trying to investigate where the blood is coming from! This is not CSI miami people and by the way did i mention that you now have apparently upgraded to a POLO STICK!!!???
• While walking towards before mentioned door you see possible foot shadows of someone walking up and down inside, instead of acting like you got amnesia and walk away like you didn't see anything, you go in trying to discover things but uhmm *NEWSFLASH* you aint Christopher Columbus and this aint the FREEWORLD you KLUTZ!
• Of course no big surprise that when he opens the door there is a blood hungry Zombie inside , i mean what did he expect to find bloody unicorns! *shaking my head from side to side*

• Try and go and save people who are outside of a safe perimeter admits zombies. If they are not blood related to you then close your eyes, ears and go to your happy place in your mind and pretend to not hear their screams outside! YEAH I SAID IT! SHOOT ME?! don't act like you wouldn't do the same we are all not Mother Teresa's of the world mmmkaaay....
• See a whole bunch of people running past you like lunatics, you just stand there not doing a thing just wondering, asking what's wrong and why everyone is running. The golden rule is, if you see a whole bunch of people running away towards you don't say a word JUST RUN!!! ask questions later when your in a safe location!

All these wonderful tips are brought to you from watching the 2004 film 'Dawn of the Dead'. So bookmark this cause you never know when a zombie apocalypse might come and these tips come in handy.

Rating of the actual movie: 7/10

Love,Peace and Sugar-coated hugs

Pixie