Monday, May 30, 2011

I refuse to be your Superhero!!

  • I can't fly
  • I do not have bat wings
  • I can't leap like a cat, have nine lives nor do I own a cat suite
  • I can't shoot spiderwebs out from my knuckles
  • I don't have a sidekick, a get away car or any form of transportation besides my legs
  • And I sure as hell aint bulletproof
So what makes you think I can all of a sudden save you when you get yourself captured and locked up by a serial killer. I was re-watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning last night and what i didn't understand was the part after the car crash when Chrissie gets thrown from the car and lands in the bushes out of sight from everyone else, Sheriff Hoyt arrives to the scene shoots Alex forces the rest of the guys in the police car and drives away. Later on Uncle Monty comes to tow away the car that is wrecked with Chrissie hidden in it and is thus driven all the way to the Hewitt/Butcher house. What I didn't understand was the fact that Chrissie decided to be the little superhero and try and save her friends who are locked up in a house with crazy cannibals?!!REALLY PEOPLE??REALLY??

If I was Chrissie and happened to be the only one free I would runaway and try to get help for my friends but from a DISTANCE, cause you saw how big and monstrous Thomas looked.......

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

 How is a short girl like me gonna defeat a HUGE beast who likes wearing human skin as a face mask!!! Call me a selfish hag, i don't care at least I will be the selfish hag still inhaling that good old  O2 in the air.

The only superpower I do have though is the ability to pick up a telephone and dial '911' that is the best I can do for you but if you want me to promise you that if your captured I will make a U-turn to come save you? I'm sorry but that will have to take MUCH convincing and thought. I can whole heartedly promise you this though, that if I escape and help doesn't come in time to save you, when the time comes I will give you the best damn Eulogy known to man! (Because I care that much).

So this is dedicated to all my friends, followers on this blog and any potential strangers I might meet in a Horror movie like situation, unless we share the same genetic make up do not and i repeat DO NOT expect me to be your superhero, make a U-turn and come save you because 'I'm as cold as ice, i'm willing to sacrifice your life' (sing it with me now) 'Your as cold as ice, your willing to sacrifice my life'......

Love,Peace and Sugar-coated hugs

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